The Doctor and The Doo
by Kyletra
Summary: Ditzy has become a fan of the old Doctor Whooves show, just in time to be informed they are going to begin casting for a revival of the series!
1. The Comic Shop

"Ok, so let me see if I understand everything. The Doctor is a time traveling alien, that just so happens to look like a pony. And he goes around traveling through time in a machine that's bigger on the inside than it looks from the outside, stopping threats to both Equestria and the time-space continuum before they happen?"

Carrot Top sighed as her friend, Ditzy Doo, nodded happily. They were out to lunch at the Corner and the two had gotten to talking about a new series the pegasus had gotten in to. Ditzy, despite normally forgoing clothing, had actually tossed a rather garish scarf around her neck.

"Yeah, he's amazing! He carries around this thing called the Tonic Screwdriver and it's like Unicorn Magic without being a unicorn! The only thing it can't do is kill living beans. But the Cyberponies are ok, since they're just macaronis."

The pegasus had gone on a massive binge, saturating herself with the culture of Doctor Whooves. The Fourth was by far her favorite, and she took out a package of sweet treats.

"Want a jelly foal?"

"Er, no thank you. Listen, Ditzy, just remember to take things slow. Remember the last show you really got into? How you went out and took four baby turtles and tried to see if Zecora had anything that would turn them into fighters?"

The grey pegasus sipped her alfalfa shake, avoiding eye contact with her friend. _I know, I know. Reality is completely different from fiction. But I like this stuff. It's so out there, so different. It's crazy stuff that isn't happening to ME. Well, because of me most days..._

The mares chat a bit longer then said their good byes. Ditzy had the afternoon free until Dinky's classes were over, so she stopped by the comic shop. The owner, a purple and gold Earth Stallion by the name of Hays, nodded at one of his best costumers.

"Good afternoon Miss Doo. I have some interesting news for you, but first, your order came in."

Ditzy squealed in delight as a manilla folder was removed from the special orders box. With shaking hooves, she opened the package and pulled out and aged but still readable comic book.

"Hellcolt Number One! Oh, I've been waiting forgone for this! It talks about his origami, and introduces his alibis and and.."

The owner coughed, with a nodded towards the cash register. The mailmare grinned sheepishly, and handed over the money. As Hays got her change, she dived right into reading the tale. It took her a while to read, having forgotten her reading glasses at home. Comic book print is a good bit smaller than the large scrawl used to show name and address after all. But she relished it, soaking in the subtle textures of the shading and other artistic tricks.

She finished it twice over before she thought to grab her change. Hays was either kind or greedy enough to have, knowing her habits, also charge her for a package of mini-muffins to enjoy. Putting the book away, she snacked as the owner got around to the news.

"Well, you've been buying quite a bit of Whooves merchandise lately, so when I got this flier, I thought I'd ought to tell you first."

He pulled out a simple poster with the face of a brown stallion with a kind, yet somewhat smug, smile. Ditzy's jaw hung loose in shocked ecstasy.

"Omigosh! They're making a new season, and they're looking to cast straight from Ponyville?"

"Well, from the letter I got about it, they're not just casting, they're shooting it here. With all the Bearers of Harmony living here, our humble little town has been seeing quite a bit more tourism than usual. I think they're trying to cash in on it, maybe get them to make an appearance once or twice. You know, Celebrity Power."

Ditzy wasn't listening, nor did she care. She tucked the poster away and took off. Hays yelled indignantly, the sudden stir of wind causing some of the comics to fly about like manic birds. She went straight home, and read the fine print carefully with her glasses on, to help counter the wall-eyes her excitement were worsening.

_Ok, let's see. Looking for mares, able to work as assistant to The Doctor. No prior acting skill needed, however, it is encouraged. Familiarity with the series is a plus, YES!, as it will reduce the need to educate. Auditions will be held Sunday, good so I won't be working, at the local theater and music hall. You will be judged for the role by the head writer, Skyward Flight, and the actor to play The Tenth Doctor, Just-in Time. _

…

"Just-in, are you sure about this? I thought the scripts were fine, now you want me to rework them all to fit in a sidekick?"

Skyward hovered in a small room, a rental until the studio decided to get them proper lodgings while they filmed. It was somewhat dusty, but the Mayor had informed them it was quite alright. Apparently, as the show would be a big boost to the local economy, she was more than willing to let them have her guest bedroom.

Just-in smiled at his friend and coworker.. The blue and yellow pegasus was actually the reason Just-in had got the role, as the new Regeneration or whatever it was was based off him. They were entertainment virgins, their first steps into true notability. Just-in put a hoof around his friend's shoulders.

"Now, listen Sy-Fy, you're an amazing writer. Action, comedy, suspense even horror are all your bread and butter. Even just looking over the script gives me goose flesh. But here's the thing. Something you ignored in all this. Romance, or at least a subtly hinted one, is a HUGE draw. You take a normal everyday pony and hand them something with a few jokes in it, they'll laugh and move on. But give them love and tender hearts to latch onto, why, the audience laps it up. It's been ages since Doctor Whooves has been on the air, all the old fans have children now. We need to cheat a bit and give the easy grab on for Season One to give us the rating to warrant Two, and therefore let us experiment. You know, sexual tension and all that."

The pegasus stopped hovering and began to pace, shaking his head.

"But... that feels so cheap. Like one big lie. Who in their right mind starts to watch a series for the romance, but stays for action and humor? Isn't it suppose to be the other way around?"

The Earth pony shrugged.

"It doesn't matter. Whatever helps us pad the numbers. Even if we lose them when the shift happens, we'll gain back more the next season with the better budget. Besides, you just have to write a few cliched lines. I'm the one who actually has to make it sound convincing."

_I just hope whoever we get isn't a complete twit..._

…

Ok, I feel really bad for this, as I wanted to start by giving a new spin on Doctor Whooves. But I just couldn't focus very well on the series proper, so it'll be pretty hodgepodge. Still, I am going to expand and try and make this worthwhile! Allons-y!

Kyle


	2. Audition

"Er, thanks for coming ma'am, we'll contact you later. Have a pleasant day."

The two stallions grimaced at each other as Mrs. Cake left the room. While some young "aspiring actresses" ( or as Just-in thought of them "twits" ) had auditioned, many older mares had tried as well, remembering the show from their youth. Some even had old costumes of some of the past assistants and spoke some of their lines for their attempt. While it was nice to know there would be old fans eagerly awaiting the broadcast, the lack of an age appropriate actress began to dishearten Skyward.

"Just-in, there's nopony who works yet. What are we going to do if we have to tell the studio, the production company, or May Celestia Help Us, the catering crew we have to postpone production?"

Just-in chewed the eraser of his pencil, looking over the list of remaining auditions. _Well, we just have one more before lunch, let's get it over with quickly. I refuse to tolerate a wild goose chase on an empty stomach._ Nodding at the security guard, he waited as the next candidate was led to the stage. _Hmm... not bad. Grey isn't too impressive of a coat but I'll admit I have a thing for blonds._ The earth pony put down the writing utensil.

"Well, Miss Doo, could you tell us a little about yourself? Like what do you normally do for work, why you decided to try out, that sort of thing."

The pegasus opened her mouth, then shut it. Her eyes crossed, brow furrowing as she thought deeply. Skyward shot his friend a nervous glance. The mare shook her head, words coming out slowly as if she had to force them out.

"I'm.. the mailmare. I fly around... making sure every...pony gets their letters. I recently... became a big Whooves fan, and I... saw the flier..."

The pegasus reached into her saddlebag, and put on the signature scarf of one of the previous generations. Just-in coughed to hide a laugh as Skyward gave a goofy grin of fellow fan fascination. It turned into sheer joy as she pulled out the sweets, the sci-fi pegasus eagerly taking one, as Just-in did the same to humor her. _Well, she's at least got a sincere interest in the series. _Skyward swallowed, his interest now focused on the pegasus.

"So you like The Fourth best? Well, that's as good a place to start as any. The time travel aspect does make it rough to follow sometimes. But let's not get sidetracked. This is an audition, not teatime."

"You're blight, there aren't even any muffins."

The stallions chuckled, mistaking her honest response for amusing sarcasm. Ditzy covered her mouth with a hoof, eyes going wide as her slip sank in. Just-in stared at her for a moment, having caught the swapped word.

"Er, Miss Doo, I couldn't help but notice your speech. You said "blight" when it felt like you were aiming for "right". Is speaking normally an issue for you?"

She kicked at the floor, blushing in shame. She couldn't bear to look at the two, who continued to watch her every move. _I'm an utter foal for thinking I could do this. I can't act, my tongue hates me, and they won't stop looking at me! Do I have something on my face? I should never have eaten that chocolate covered muffin, my teeth are probably all brown too. Why won't they look away? I need out __of here. _The pegasus galloped out of the room, the door slamming behind her. Just-in would have sworn he heard an anguished sob fading into the distance.

The two sighed miserably. Just-in rubbed his forehead in frustration.

"Body wise, she was much better than any of the others. Cute face, hair the stylists would love to toy around with, flank wasn't too bad either..."

Skyward rolled his eyes and checked the time.

"Shame about the speech though. If she can't talk, we don't have much option. Who was your second favorite then?"

"Well, she was pretty overly dramatic but Rose probably. At least she had a bit of training in school. But Miss Doo seemed to have a lot more pure interest in the show so it's almost disappointing...wait! Why didn't I think of this sooner! Er um... Hey, Sy-fy, think you can handle eating alone today, I think I'll take a stroll and get some blood flow back to my hooves. If I'm going to be cooped up in here the rest of the day I better get in some exercise while I can."

Skyward gave a grunt of acknowledgment as he gathered up the forms at the table, so Just-in took his leave of the theater, dashing out into Ponyville. _If she's unable to speak her lines properly, we'd be wasting our time. So she won't! The only thing standing in our way is if she'll give it a shot. That and what little funding we do have. Still, she was probably the only young pony I saw that was also interested in the show for what it was, not what it can do for her career, so I'd sooner have her along than any other._

He almost passed the Post Office, when the sound of crying caught his attention. _Shouldn't they be closed on a Sunday? Oh, right! Miss Doo said she was the mailmare, I guess she lives here too. _Pushing the door, he was surprised to find it unlocked and opened freely. Just-in squinted into the darkness of the main lobby.

"Anypony there? Miss Doo? The door was open, I hope this isn't a federal crime...sure is creepy in here without light."

Opening the blinds, he let the afternoon sun light the room. A paper bag lay at the base of the counter, jelly candies scattered across the floor. _Did she throw it for some reason?_ Walking past the counter and up the stairs, he saw the scarf had been tossed into the floor in front of the apartment door.

The crying had been a faint background noise, but now he had to strain to hear it. It was the ragged breathing of wrapping up the sob, so he waited for it to go silent before knocking. A crash was heard on the other side of the door, and Miss Doo opened the door with a surprisingly genuine smile.

"Salivations there... oh. OH! It's you. Mister Lime."

"Time, thank you. Seems I caught you before you got too comfortable."

She followed his gaze, and she noticed the saddlebags were half hanging off. She'd tried to get it off, but between her crossed eyes from the stress and everything else, she'd just fumbled with it before giving up to cry in earnest.

"You also dropped this."

He picked up the scarf, smiling softly. Or at least, his lips curved up in a polite gesture. On the inside, his stomach tied itself in knots, hoping she was calm enough to hear him out. He was about to place it around her neck, but she knocked it away. Ditzy's eyes were crossed, but more noticeable was the scowl on her normally jovial face.

"Doorknob! I.. I don't want it twenty-score! Everypony gives me books when I wear it. I don't like their herring, and why are you hare?"

The look of confusion on the colt's face only worsened her mood. _I can't even yell properly! Why did I think I could try and be in a show when I can't even talk?_ She turned around, going to shut the door when his hoof blocked it.

"Miss Doo, forgive me for stating the obvious, but I couldn't help but notice your... speech impediment."

Ditzy snorted in frustration but remained quiet. Just-in took it a sign to continue, and he cast out the line of hope. _You're the only mare I've seen all day that fits the part. You're not perfect, but if this works, you'll do._

"If you're still interested in trying out, I think I know a way for you to get around this problem, at least, as far as the show goes."

Ditzy bit her lip, then nodded, a small smile returning to her face. She was able to focus on him, and thinking on it, she was surprised at how well he seemed to understand her. Even Carrot Top needed a rephrase every now and then.

"Well, OK. I'll glisten, but no promises about trying again."

The stallion was led to the couch, and she brought in some tea and muffins for their lunch as he began to explain his idea.

"Miss Doo, may I call you Ditzy?" The pegasus nodded. "Thank you. Ditzy, let me be utterly blunt. If we needed you to speak live, both of us would be out of luck. You'd flub your lines, forcing re-shoot after re-shoot and everypony would get frustrated. Even when you concentrate on it and the words are clearly what you meant to say, it's too slow to give a proper shot."

The pegasus stared into her tea cup, a sniffle already brewing up towards a second fit. Just-in went to pat her back, but he wasn't sure how she would react to that. Instead, he coughed sheepishly.

"But thankfully, we're dealing with a visual medium with heavy editing. I have two ideas that I think will work out, but it's up to you which one we try. Are you familiar with any sort of hoof language? I understand it's hard to actually perform, but it would be the cheapest way. You could sign the lines, and I would repeat it for the listening audience. For example, if you signed "What would you like for breakfast" I'd say something like "Since you asked, I'd like some fruit salad for breakfast, thank you". Does that work for you?"

She shook her head mournfully.

"I don't know any. I went to champ with some ponies who could, but I never um... commissioned with them."

_I have a feeling I know what kind of camp it was, the poor soul. But let's try the second option._

"Or, we would be able to edit in a recording. Another mare would speak for you, but it would be you in all the scenes on screen. We could even write your character as a telepath, able to speak directly to the mind of everypony around. Or sick, so she needs a special mask to filter the air that also just to happens to cover her mouth too well for anyone to see her lips aren't moving. We'd have to pay for a voice over, but if you can manage a lot of body language and non-verbal, we could even cut costs by not writing enough lines to warrant multiple recordings."

Ditzy fidgeted, unsure of what to think of this plan. _On one hoof, it sounds PERFECT. I'll get to do everything with them, see the costume, wait, wear one yay! But, I wanted to show it to everypony if I got the part. How would I explain to Dinky why it's not her momma speaking? And what if it gets really popular? Would strange ponies put up with normal me talking?_

The mare finally made up her mind. Grinning wildly at the stallion, she nodded her acceptance of the plan. Just-in heaved a sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank you Ditzy. You've saved us a lot of grief with the studio. I'm going to tell Sky the good news. You won't regret this. Tell your friends, tell your family, you've going to be The Doctor's Assistant!"

Ditzy was left standing alone, the door slamming shut behind from the vacuum the stallion's manic dash had caused. Still, laughter bubbled up, and the former crying pegasus yelled her thanks to the empty room until her voice was as hoarse as you'd ever imagine a horse's could be. _Doesn't matter if my voice goes out, I won't need it for the show! Ditzy 1 Stupid Tongue... 58329, but who's counting? I mean... Whooves counting. Hehe..._

…

I had no idea where I was going when I started writing today. But for some reason the way it is has put me in a really good mood, maybe I just liked writing a bit more than I have these last few days. I hope you enjoy it for a more logical reason though!

Also, I think this story will be integrated properly into my mixed canon next chapter. It just feels right to have it happen in third, just as it did for my other big stories. But it won't be Ditzy's view of the Party, unless for some reason I get a lot of feedback begging otherwise.

Kyle


	3. The Party Ditzy's Version

Dinky ran about her home, decorations flung with juvenile glee over every available surface. Piles of food sat on the kitchen table, almost bowing under the weight of it all, muffins and soup, sweets, chips, soda, cupcakes ( muffin's evil twin ) and even a large bowl of fruit salad. Bon-bon was particularly proud of that, as she had made it herself, rather than using the unicorn's magic to slice and dice. Speaking of Lyra, she and Berry Punch were getting dru- pardon, they were "sampling the stock" Punch had brought over.

All was set for the Congratulations Party for Ditzy's successful casting. There was even a large banner written in bright yellow paint. It said: "Congratulations Ditz".Carrot Top stared at the banner, a low moan of disappointment. _Not again. I better find some tape and a scrap of paper..._

Meanwhile, Ditzy was speaking to the Post Master of her district, Boxy Brown. The huge pegasus moved a cigar from one side of his massive jowls to the others. He inhaled deeply, the faint glow in the ash the only bright light in his cramped office. Rubbing the snub in an ashtray, he shook his head.

"You sure about this Ditzy? Celestia knows you've got the overtime and vacation days to allow this even without my blessings. I just need your full conviction on this. You're going to stop delivering the mail, a job you LOVE doing, to go act for the first time in your life?"

The grey mare stared at the floor. _Well, when you put it that way, it sounds like a bad idea... No. He needs conviction to be swayed, so alright!_

"I'm shore Sir. Especially once the monkey comes in. With the extra funds, I could get Dinky into a magic tool. That and I..." She spoke slowly. "I've... been speaking to Nurse Redheart about an experimental... surgery. You... can see my voice... and eyes are getting worse. It confoun... continues with age apparently. With the money, I maybe could... get the surgery. Then Dinky will have a normal mom."

The grim determination in the mares eye's was all he needed. Stamping the appropriate forms, he filed them away for later. Turning back to her, he took out a small bag of coins. Pushing them towards her, he smiled softly at his favorite worker. She looked from it to him, hurt shock making her frown at her own boss. He lit a fresh cigar, puffing it to new life.

"Listen, I know you hate charity. It's why you're working here and as hard as you have been. But consider this a first step, even if the acting falls through. At the very least, buy yourself some dinner, on me."

The mare reached over the table, hugging the giant stallion around the neck. He pat her on the back, his normally gruff features breaking into a small smile. Ditzy kissed him on the cheek, then left ignoring the bag of coins. The stallion heaved a mighty sigh, the smoke from the cigar flooding over his desk. _I hope everything works out for her, filly works hard enough. Definitely earned a miracle by now._

Ditzy was surprised to find how late it was once she got outside. The sun was just getting ready to set, so she half flew half trot home. She was about to walk inside the post office, when she heard a voice yell her name. The pegasus turned towards the shout, and was surprised to see Just-in and Skyward running up to her. The male pegasus seemed a bit frustrated, but Just-in was smiling confidently.

"Sorry to catch you so late Ditzy, but I just wanted to share some good news with you. We managed to book Rarity of the Bearers to guest star in our first episode. We'd have seen about more, but Misses Sparkle and Dash are apparently out of town. Fluttershy is nearing her due date, and the father was quite adamant about her not straining herself. Applejack is busy with her farm and well, I don't think Pinkie would focus long enough to act. She'd break the fourth wall, talk to audience and such. We'd have to edit all that out."

Also, Skyward, after some debate, saw the potential in the face covering mask. He suggested you could come from the one of those desert countries, but that was full body and if we were dubbing over you anyway, why bother? No, instead, we've decided on a surprisingly obvious solution. Can you guess what?"

Ditzy's eyes unfocused, her brow furrowing in thought. Just-in stared in mild disbelief. _Does she not understand a rhetorical question when she hears one?_ Just as he was about to give the answer, Ditzy grinned and clapped her hooves together.

"She'll be mute, until The Doctrine gives her a special mask to let her talk! And it could be broken for a big sheen too. So she couldn't yell for help, so she'd have to use a cold to signal to him!"

The two males stared at her, stunned by the amazing idea. They were going to just say she was a hypochondriac and germophobe. Ditzy fidgeted under the stares. _Oh, they don't like it. I... guess it was kinda silly anyway. Besides, why would the mask be so big it covered her mouth? The Doctor could probably just use some kind of mental projection helmet or something. I better leave the story ideas to the professionals._

Skyward pulled a notepad out from his saddlebag and began writing. Just-in grinned, knowing his friend was suddenly hit hard with inspiration. As the pegasus wrote, he became oblivious to the world, and simply hovered just above the ground as he crafted the story. Just-in smiled sheepishly as his soon to be co-star.

"Well, I can see I wasn't the only one who thought that was bloody brilliant. Good show, nice to see there's a good brain in that pretty little head of yours. But may I ask one more thing of you? Could we come inside? When he gets like this there's no stopping him. I could push him along, but we're so far from the room it'd be easier to just wait it out."

Ditzy blushed, a bit shocked at the compliment. _They thought it was good? And...he... he thinks I'm pretty? But but my hair's always a mess, and my eyes go... Derpy all the time. No, he's just being nice. But I'm still glad he, they, liked it._ The mare opened the door, holding it aside as the Earth pony shoved his friend inside and up the stairs to the apartment. The instant that door was opened, the lights came on, all the ponies cheering loudly.

"Congratulations Ditz-y" hung across the room on the banner. The blond pony gave a joyful grin.

"Awww! You guys are so rice! And.. oh! Dinky, Lyra, everypony. I'd like you to meet Just-in Time, he's gonna play The Motor, and Skyward Might, the head writer."

The actor gave a small bow, his friend still writing furiously. As some of the mares began to talk to him, a slightly tipsy Berry Punch pulled friend aside.

"Listen, Ditzy. I want you to remember something. That guy. You and him are gonna have some romantic subplots or something right? Don't misunderstand them then. He's an actor. He lives for make-believe. When his character gives you a deep loving look, that's just it. His character is loving your character. Never mistake it as him having any feelings for you. I don't want to see you hurt because you thought it was real, ok?"

The pegasus opened her mouth to speak, when Dinky suddenly screamed. Ditzy looked over, eyes filled with panic, until she saw her daughter give another scream followed by a fit of giggles. She'd grabbed onto Just-in's tail, and was swinging happily. He spun in a circle, try to wiggle her off as politely as he could. _Come on kid, this is kinda starting to hurt..._ The other adults were watching this with a mix of amusement and, though none would admit it, jealousy that the colt now had such a cute tail decoration. Relief flooded over the mother.

"Dinky, good fillers don't do that. You're good, aren't you my muffin? The let go of the nice bolt's tail."

The young unicorn let go, obviously crestfallen that her fun had ended prematurely. She blinked a few times, then let out a massive yawn. Ditzy picked up her daughter, smiling softly. _Muffin's tired, I guess it is late. Time for little fillies to go to bed, and dream._

Without really thinking, she took her daughter to her room, and tucked the drowsy filly in. Lyra put her hoof to her lips, telling everyone to hush and follow her. They crowded the door to watch Ditzy perform the final steps of their good night ritual. Ditzy sang softly to Dinky, running her hoof over her daughter's hair comfortingly.

"Do you know the muffin mare

The muffin mare? The muffin mare.

Do you know the muffin mare

Who lives on Hinny Lane"

The little unicorn nodded off, and Ditzy kissed her forehead tenderly. The party goers quickly removed themselves from sight, and Ditzy carefully shut the door behind her. Everypony was getting ready to leave, Just-in smiled at the pegasus.

"Your daughter is adorable, you and your husband must be quite proud of the little tyke."

Ditzy went rigid, then shook her head.

"I'm... not married. I don't want to think about it. Not when this day has made me so happen. Could you... please go?"

The stallion nodded, a bit confused, but he didn't want to strain the mood. Everypony else geared up to leave, Berry Punch stepping out last.

"You stay strong Ditzy. Sleep well."

Ditzy smiled weakly at her friend, and nodded. As Berry left for home, Ditzy thought over her words from earlier. _I know Berry. I know. I just... wish I didn't._

…

Sorry for the lack of update yesterday! I got started on this, fell asleep, and then before I knew it it was time to leave for the house for the evening. I'll try and get a double update today, but I won't promise it, as I've been bad about doing that. For now, hope you enjoy this.

Also, a Hinny is the offspring of a male horse and a female donkey. Little equestrian trivia for ya.

Kyle


	4. Getting Ready

Ditzy woke up to the sun shining on her face. She gave a low groan of drowsiness, when the realization hit. _WE'RE LATE, DERPY HOOVES!_ The blond pegasus bolted upright, zooming out of bed and rushing to her daughter's room. She walked over and gently nudged her daughter away.

"My muffin, wake up. You're going to be late for magistrate kindergarten. I'm going to fly you there today, so you won't be TARDIS."

Ditzy's eyes widened in panic as she remembered her own appointment to keep. _They'll be waiting for me on set! _Dinky got up and grabbed her school bag. Grabbing her helmet, the young unicorn smiled excitedly up at her mother. Dinky loved days like this, when she got to see the world like her mother.

Stepping outside, Ditzy picked up the filly and set her on her back. They've done this many times, for one reason or another, but Ditzy always gave the same speech each and every time.

"Ok, muffin. Hold on to the bass of my wings. Keep your bread down, and don't fidget. When we land, taste yourself, it might be rough."

Dinky nodded confirmation, and they took off. Dinky giggled in pure joy, looking down at the rooftops of Ponyville. It wasn't a very long flight, but the feel of wind on her face was so unlike how she normally went around. Ditzy smiled in spite of the time crunch, glad at the least Dinky's morning was going to start happily.

The warning for the landed proved unnecessary, as it always does. Ditzy never risks harming such precious cargo, and comes in nice and slow. Sitting down, she slid her daughter off her back gently to the ground. Dinky ran around to face her, face all but split in two in a hyper grin.

"Thank you Momma! Bye!"

They nuzzled quickly, Ditzy whispering her good bye as the filly ran inside to class. The sweet moment faded quickly as she took off once more. The meeting place wasn't very far, but judging from how everyone was gathered up, it seemed she was interrupting the middle of a meeting. Just-in noticed her arrival and called her over. She blushed deeply as the eyes of the entire crew followed her until she stood in front of them with him.

"Alright guys, allow me to introduce the other star of this project, Miss Ditzy Doo. Now, and forgive me if this sounds rather rude to bring it to attention Ditzy, she does have a small speech problem. Unless she talks very slowly, she may slip and speak the wrong word. Do not focus on it, it's very easy to ignore as long as you think of the context of the sentence more than anything.

And just to warn you, anyone caught giving her flak over this will be terminated. No warnings, no write ups. You will be paid your dues and cut from the project as cleanly surgeons remove any other pus pocket. Now, Ditzy, I'd like you to meet a few of the technical team members. The producer, director, head prop manager, that sort of thing."

Ditzy was surprised by the number of ponies working on the show. She must have shaken at least two dozen different hooves, and most of those were just managers or head somethings. Cameraponies, sound crew, catering, and countless others milled about. Finally, she was brought into wardrobe, where quite a racket had stirred up.

"Darling, this simply won't do! The colors clash so terribly, and it just looks so.. so .. alien!"

"Ma'am, it's suppose to be an alien! This is a science fiction show for Celestia's sake!"

"Well, that doesn't mean it can't be pleasant to look at."

Rarity was shoved out of the room, right into Ditzy. They tumbled, with Rarity landing on top of the pegasus. Just-in coughed, prompting a few of the stallions who had stopped to stare to move on before the mares noticed. Rarity picked herself up, and helped dust Ditzy off.

"I'm terribly sorry Ditzy. Those... ruffians would hardly know taste if it bite them on the... no sorry. A lady shouldn't say such things... publicly. Oh dear! Your hair is an absolute mess, did you not have time to brush it this morning? Come now, let's get you presentable. Excuse us Mister Time."

Before either could protest, Rarity whisked Ditzy into make-up. Using her normal air of "I know who I am and what I am doing", she all but forced the normal make-up artists to sit aside while she preened the pegasus.

"Ditzy, you have such marvelous hair, why do you never seem to take care of it? Look at these split ends! My dear, if you're going to catch the eye of that stallion you're going to have to do better than this. Let's see, ah, let's see if we can add a little bounce."

Ditzy blushed furiously as the unicorn worked her magic. _What? How, how did she get to that conclusion? Just-in and I have been nothing but professional. Why did she figure I.. wanted his attention?_

Rarity took a blow dryer to Ditzy's hair, and spun her around to look in the mirror. The pegasus stared the figure before her. Her hair was fluffed up to not lay flat on her head and neck, held in place with a liberal application of hair spray. But more shocking was the fact that her bangs had been brushed down to cover one eye but not cover its vision. It gave the normally bubbly childish mare a look that could almost be called... sultry. Once she stopped staring at it of course. Rarity gave a slightly haughty laugh.

"Yes, just the look for grabbing the attention of both the audience and a certain overgrown colt. I think just a little mascara, some light purple eyeshadow to pair with those lovely golden eyes of yours, and you're perfect. Lipstick or blush would just ruin it on you. Besides, you have such a healthy glow as it is."

_That's because I feel like I could fry an egg on my face. I... can't go out looking like this. It barely looks like me! A mare as pretty as this can't possibly be the one they call Derpy Hooves._ It shocked her that even as her stress made her eyes cross, the hair managed to conceal it from sight, making it look as if she was rolling her eyes instead. _But... maybe this is how I should look. Rarity does know beauty inside and out. Well, they'll calling for me, I better go._

Ditzy stepped out of the room, and the noise of busy workers slowly stopped. Dozens of eyes followed her as she walked over to where Just-in was busy speaking with Skyward. A few whistles made her spirits raise a little, in spite of knowing she should be offended by that. _Well, at least they think I look nice. I guess this was alright after all._ She came up on the tail end of Skyward's comment.

"Look, Just-in. I know you wanted to give Rarity a bit bigger part, but I'm afraid a cameo is all I could really fit in without rewriting the entire episode, which I already had to do to introduce Ditzy!"

Just-in was too distracted to notice Ditzy's arrival.

"Sy-fy, she's a hero of Equestria. She's a big name in the fashion world. She the Bearer of Generosity for crying out loud! She's been here all morning, and all we can give her is a thirty second conversation as a random passerby on the street? Ugh, never mind. It's better than nothing. Hopefully it will be enough to give us even a slight ratings boost to even just say she'd in the episode."

He turned, and was face to face with a sheepishly smiling Ditzy. Almost lip to lip, she couldn't help but notice. This made her withdraw, looking down at the grown in embarrassment. Just-in's mouth dropped, which gave Ditzy another ego boost. _He.. he likes it!_

"Ditzy, you look... lovely. But..."

The boost sputtered out and her soaring happiness turned to a crestfallen mope.

"But, why would you hide your eye like that?"

Just-in moved the bangs to the side, revealing the whole of Ditzy's face. She turned crimson, staring into his eyes as he smiled comfortingly at his co-star.

"Yes, perfect. You'll need both eyes to properly emote. Now, I want you to meet one more pony. Hey! Manny! Come over here!"

A behemoth of a unicorn walked over. He was easily twice the size of Just-in, his coat a stone grey with mossy green mane. He looked more like an elephant than a pony, though the microphone cutie mark made it a safe bet for the later. Just-in nodded at the living boulder.

"This is Manny Voices, he's the one who's going to be your speaking voice."

Ditzy stared in disbelieve.

"But, but I'm a mare!"

"But, but I'm a mare!"

The pegasus blinked, and looked around. _This room is too small for an echo, but that sounded just like me!_

"It wasn't an echo ma'am."

Ditzy heard her voice again, but this time she was certain she hadn't spoken. The unicorn gave a laugh, her own bubbly giggle coming from the massive frame.

"You see, my special talent is impressions, and my special spell allows me to record a bit of somepony's voice, then it lets me sound just like them no matter what I say!"

Ditzy stared in shock as the unicorn gave a sheepish grin at having to speak so much in the voice of a tiny mare. Just-n pat his shoulder encouragingly.

"Manny here is the best voice actor in the business. He doesn't lose character, and never loses his voice. Normally, he'd come in pre-production and animators would match the drawings to his voice. But since this is live action, he's going to watch your reactions, say the line, then we shoot with the agreed pairing of your body language and his voice.

And with this final meeting, the production officially begun! Let's make a show they'll never forget everypony!"

…

Sorry this is so terribly late. I slept all day heh. I like the idea of voice dissonance, so I came up with Manny just to meet that desire.

Tomorrow is my day off, so I'm going to take that chance to finally give you guys Trixie and her mother's confrontation. Or should I finally do something Applejack focused? Tell me what you guys think in the reviews or message me directly.

Kyle


	5. Muffin

"Alright, have a good thyme my little muffin. Be safe, and don't take any unwrapped canners. Pinkie Pie promised to watch over you all, so be extra goad for her."

Dinky Doo bolted outside, holding her candy bag in her teeth. Ditzy smiled to herself as she watched the group of children (and one adult child) from the window. Laying down on the couch, she was just about ready to just sleep everything off.

Normally, she'd have been just as eager as her daughter about Nightmare Night. She always tried to get a good costume each year, besides the stereotypical, generic outfits most ponies wore. Last year, she dressed up as PowerFilly. It was a little embarrassing wearing the somewhat revealing outfit, though she knew even then it was silly to feel that way. _We all rarely wear clothes, and even then you only really see pants or skirts on really fancy costumes. But I guess wearing cloths make it really easy to see exactly how naked we normally are._

She had almost fallen asleep when a knock at the door stirred her. Getting up with a yawn, Carrot Top stood there in a little devil outfit she'd been bragging about. Though she swore up and down that it was actually a succubus outfit. Ditzy couldn't help but giggle at the sight of her normally innocent friend dressed up so. _Hehe Carrot Top, as one of those things? She can barely look a stallion in the eye, let alone seduce one... Then again, I'm not any better..._

Carrot Top stepped inside, and looked her friend over.

"Um, Ditzy, where's your costume? You can't go out on Nightmare Night well, naked. Come on, there's so much to do! And I heard from Berry Punch, who heard from her cousin Grapevine that we're getting a very special visitor this year. No clue who though, but it's probably Celestia again! I wonder what she'd dress up as? I mean, a princess costume is right out, busmare's holiday right there... why haven't you put on your costume? Come on Ditzy, I can hardly wait to get going!"

Ditzy smiled sheepishly at her friend, then bolted into the kitchen. _OK, I need something fast, easy, and... well, they already think I'm Derpy. Maybe... something abstract will change that? Post-Modern minimalist is something Photo Finish herself would endorse._

Carrot Top stared as her friend walked back to her in costume. The paper bags crinkled with every step, the one on her head almost ripping from being put on.

"Um... what, exactly, are you suppose to be Ditzy?"

The pegasus coughed, trying to think of something just believable enough to put off further questioning. _Er... equusmorporic ponification of poverty? A political statement against the costume industry? Apathy? Um... oh no. Well, it's Derpy sounding, but it'll most likely be the one answer nopony questions._

"I'm a muffin, a big braggart muffin. See, I'm so big they needed more than one frag to hold me all. I'd have used some plastic clap, but I didn't want to get all sweaty..."

Carrot Top's face scrunched as she digested this, but the broad grin and nod told Ditzy she bought it. She didn't feel good about just making something up, but as they left the post office, the guilt soon faded to a background emotion. The macabre of Nightmare Night always held a special place in Ditzy's heart, and this one looked especially frightful. In a good way.

The pair walked together for a while, just enjoying seeing everypony dressed up. Two stallions in particular grabbed their attentions. Walking up in costumes of The Fourth Doctor and Doctor Frank-N-Flutter, the two gave a polite nod to the mares.

"Cyborg! Just-in! Those costumes are great! Especially yours Just-in, you look very ransom with the scarf."

The Earth pony smiled, watching his friend struggle with the corset her decided to wear. Ditzy grinned sheepishly, unsure of how to feel about the outfit. Carrot Top however, seemed to rather enjoy it.

"Wow, You like the Rocky Horse Picture Show too? I went as Maregenta last year. This year, I went so something a little more recognizable though."

The blue pegasus blush deeply, and stopped fiddling with the outfit.

"Um... yeah. I wanted to go as Rocky, but well, I'm not exactly the most muscular pony."

"Well, muscles are nice to look at but they're a little bulky. I always thought stallions like you were best. Maybe the two of us can get a little more in character later. For now, me and Ditzy have places to go boys."

Carrot Top gave a little wink that made the pegasus' wings shoot open. Ditzy covered her mouth, embarrassed for him. _Oh dear. Good thing there are no fillies around._ Carrot Top dragged off her friend, grinning in a self satisfied way.

"I KNEW this costume was a good idea! I feel so... so... empowered! Hey, there's Big Macintosh on the hay ride. Maybe I could convince a kiss out of him with this get up."

Ditzy tugged friend's tail, stopping her in her tracks.

"No, you can't do that Carrot! Wha.. what about Fluttershy?"

The demon dressed mare sighed, regretting the words already.

"I know, sorry. But he's... well, look at him! He looks so alone, she's too afraid to leave her house on Nightmare Night. Can we at least go say hello? Maybe compliment him on his outfit?"

Ditzy nodded, but gave her friend a cautious look nonetheless. _I hope she doesn't let the flirting with Skyward go to her head. I saw him blush when the Spurbucks gal gave him his coffee. _Again, Ditzy felt guilty. _Oh, who am I to judge her, I'm hoping to turn a fake romance into a real one with Just-in aren't I? And he hasn't even shown interest once._

They walked alongside big Macintosh for a while, largely talking to him rather than with. _It's hardly a conversation when all he says is eeyup and nnope._ Still, he did tell them to check out the apple bobbing station his sister was running. It was free, and a snack sounded lovely to the pair.

As they walked along, they bumped into a clown who was absentmindedly rehearsing a speech. It wasn't until they helped her up and dusted her off that the duo realized they'd knocked over the mayor. Mayor Mare smiled at them, waving off the incident. However, once she got her glasses back on and noticed the grey pegasus, her mood shifted. A blush formed and the Mayor bid a hasty farewell. Carrot Top looked from the fleeing politician to her friend.

"The hay was that about?"

Ditzy thought back to the Smartpants chaos. The two of them had fought over the ragdoll rather forcefully. And when the spell was lifted, they were just shy of biting each others tongues out. Of course it would be awkward afterward. _I better send her another apology muffin, it looks like she still holds a bit of a grudge. I'm sorry Mayor. I never wanted to fight you, the spell made us do it..._

Finally, they arrived at the apple bobbing booth. With a nod at applejack, the pair looked into the bucket eagerly. Ditzy focused her eyes carefully.

"Oh! I see a nice and red one on the bottom!"

…

I'm uploading this just in time for me to get ready and go to work. Forgive me, I am failing my promise of regular daily updates. Curse these readers, they drive me to ponies.

Wait, what?

Kyle


	6. Weekend Beginning

"Annnnd CUT! Alright people, that's it for today. You all get this weekend off, so enjoy it. And oh, Miss Doo? Excellent progress today. You and Manny are starting to act like one pony in two bodies."

The pegasus grinned, though it was hidden under the bulky prop mask. It covered her mouth, and went all the way down to her chest, where all sorts of knobs and lights gave the appearance of a complex piece of machinery. A speaker was right in the middle over her vocal chords, and that's where Ditzy's,or really Manny's impression of Ditzy, voice came from. The voice actor could throw his voice would speak just off screen.

In show, The Doctor had dubbed it the "Chatter Box", and Manny was doing his best to live up to that name. Originally, he had spoken in a much more calm, almost sedated manner. But Ditzy wasn't a very powerful actress yet, and her own bubbly enthusiasm proved to be the more powerful emotion. While she never outright broke character, she did often act just as friendly as she always did, with kindness and sincerity. This applied even to rude passers by, the various aliens, and occasionally The Doctor himself, in his darker moments.

Skyward all but tore out his mane each time this sort of thing happened, but Just-in almost always ask the shot be kept. The Earth pony would whisper words of encouragement to Ditzy between takes, and she always blushed beneath the Box. The four of them gathered together as the crew handled the set. Just-in cracked his neck.

"Oh, Celestia today felt like it was never going to end did it? Any longer and I swear I'd have gone crazy. I need a drink. Ditzy, there any good bars in Ponyville?"

She nodded, still wearing the prop. She had taken quite the liking to it, and was allowed to wear it outside the studio. The way Just-in, and therefore the higher ups saw it, it would be one big publicity stunt to have her walking around in costume.

"Well, Berry Punch finally got her bartender's incense and opened up shop. She's a close friend, she'll sever us all at a discount too."

This cemented interest for the actors. Manny and Just-in shared a look, grinning at each other. _The two greatest words in all of the pony language are "Cheap drinks"._ Skyward, however, shook his head.

"Sorry, but I have something to do this evening guys."

Just-in nudged his friend, a smirk forming.

"Let me guess, with Carrot Top? It's been about a week since Nightmare Night, I suppose this is the first date for you two hm?"

Skyward blushed furiously, sparking chuckles from the others. Ditzy bit her lip, thinking for a moment. _Well, if we're all going out anyway... and maybe it can... ok. I'll ask if we can go together. But..._

"Skyward, why don't you incite her with us?"

"No, I mean, it's suppose to be a date. I can't drag her along on your after work relaxation."

"Well, me and Just-in could go together and it be a double rate."

Ditzy's eyes shot wide open. _Wait! I didn't say that part about a double date! That wasn't, couldn't be me! Oh Celestia, they're all looking at me. Except... Manny! Where'd he go?_

The unicorn chuckled to himself as he stepped out a back way. _Good luck._

Just-in laughed cheerfully, smiling softly at two pegasi.

"Well, that's a wonderful idea Ditzy. We spend the evening with friends, and any ponirazzi will see us as reinforcing the romantic subplots. Clever. Well, seeing as you're in character, I suppose I won't give this suit back to wardrobe for the weekend."

Ditzy could hardly believe her ears. As the pair of stallions walked away to prepare for that evening, one thought raced through her mind. _He... he accepted._

This carried her all the way home, where she finally took off the mask. Flopping down on the couch, she stared up at the ceiling. Her pulse still hadn't calmed down, her heart pounding like frighten rabbit's. Ditzy lay there, mind utterly blank, until Dinky walked inside.

"Momma, are you OK?"

Ditzy sat up, blinking owlishly. Her eyes took a moment to focus, but she scooped up the filly in a hug.

"I'm... fine. How was school, my muffin?"

Dinky talked about all the little goings on from the school. Apparently, the stallion Words O'Wisdom came by in the middle of class. He carried in a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates, and a little black box. He made her open it, and inside was a necklace with a large emerald set in it. Even Diamond Tiara thought it was pretty, and was more than a little green with envy.

"Miss Cheerilee wasn't too happy about being interrupted though, and made him sit in the dunce chair! But he also got to tell us another story while she looked at our homework. And after class, I saw them kiss hehehe."

Ditzy smiled, though a small sadness was in her eyes. But for now, she needed to focus on other things. She had to find a sitter for Dinky for one thing. Most of her closest friends seemingly had their nights full this weekend. Then she remembered one other who she could trust...

"One moment, let me finish this stitch and I'll be right out!"

Ditzy nervously shifted her weight from hoof to hoof as Rarity finally appeared at the front counter.

"My, darling, what brings you here?"

"Well, um, Miss Rarity, me and Just-in... and Squidward and Carrot Top are going out and..."

Rarity gasped in horror, shocking the former mailmare. Ditzy found herself yanked into the backroom of the boutique.

"Looking like THAT? Surely you must be joking! Let's see, the hair I gave you last time will be lovely, but for a special night you need a new dress. Hmm, well, I do regret never using it myself, but I think I have just the thing for you. First, that hair though."

Ditzy sat in silence, though her inner thoughts buzzed. _I really shouldn't be letting her do this. I still haven't repaid her for the last time. I just wanted to see if she could watch Dinky for the night and now she's doing all of this for me._

Once again, Ditzy found her hair with bounce, though Rarity left her eyes uncovered at her request. Rarity was shocked to discover Ditzy's reading glasses, and immediately put them on her.

"Darling, why didn't you say you had these sooner? Framing your eyes makes them stand out so much better! They're lovely, especially when you f..."

Rarity stopped, but it was too late. Ditzy knew exactly where it was going. _When I focus them, and they don't go all... Derpy. _Rarity pat her shoulder, meekly apologizing.

"Come on, I still have the dress for you. I had a hard time letting it go, seeing as I personally never got to use it, but I'm afraid after Nightmare Night it's the only little black dress I have, until I get in more black cloth. But, your need is FAR greater than my own. Besides, I'm sure Mr. Time will enjoy it."

Ditzy was once again shocked by the image in the mirror. The black dress was scandalous, at least, compared to her usual state of dress. The flank high slit only allowed one bubble of her cutie mark to show. The Mistress of the Night costume was tight fitting, but still flowed with her every movement. A quick adjustment left a long slit down the back, both freeing her wings and revealing the mare's back.

_Why... is it also so... naughty to wear cloths? I think it's... when we cover ourselves, we can help but wonder... obsess over... what's been hidden away. I hope... Just-in is the curious type..._

Rarity applied a tasteful amount of makeup this time. Some light green eyeshadow, as well as black lipstick tried to compliment her as best they could.

"Grey is a surprisingly rare color for ponies, I almost never get any sort of practice. Still, I believe you look absolutely stunning, darling. Now you're more than prepared for your evening out and-"

"What about Dinky?"

Rarity laughed haughtily, walking the pegasus out.

"I'll go pick her up myself, I was heading out this evening for some pampering, but I won't mind a guest. Does Dinky like Istallion cooking? Well, they have a Foal's Menu, I'm sure she'll find something to her liking. I might as well bring Spike and the Crusaders. They rather enjoyed it the last time we went. You just have a good evening Ditzy. Well, caio darling."

Ditzy flew to Berry's Bar, where Carrot Top was already sipping an appletini. Ditzy sat down next to her, smiling softly. Her friends stared in confusion, before the derp eyes gave her away.

"Ditzy? Is that you! My goodness! You're... you're..."

"Absolutely stunning."

Just-in grinned as the two mares nodded in agreement. Ditzy blushed furiously, wishing she had remembered the mask. _The mask! Just-in was hoping for this to be a publicity stunt too! He's probably upset I ruined this chance for him..._

"Skyward's going to be a bit late, he wanted to get his bow-tie perfect. He think's they're dashing, but I don't see it myself."

Carrot Top gave a small snort, smiling coyly. The pegasus in question was actually walking up behind the Earth pony.

"Well, I think bow-ties are cool. Now, shall this night begin in earnest?"

Ditzy looked at Just-in for the answer. He gave a comforting smile that melted her worries away.

"Yes, I think this is going to be a blight to remember."

…

It took forever to write this, I got distracted all day, and yesterday had nothing at all. Well, I'm trying to live a normal life on top of work and writing. And seeing as I make no lively hood off these stories, I'm under no real obligation to meet a daily demand.

But one must have standards, and I'm failing to meet my own. For that, I'm sincerely sorry.

Also, as a note to my more dedicated readers, I have mentioned in the past a desire to get my works onto Equestria Daily to try and spread the word. Sadly, I fail to meet their standards for length in any of my stories. However, I am not discouraged from continuing to write in any way, I just thought I'd share that for those who praise me so often. Short and sweet is not endearing to EqD. Oh well.

And I also am sorry these author's notes at the end are ever increasing in length. But seeing as I update much more often than normal fanfic writers, this is the only efficient way to keep you updated with the behind the scenes stuff.

Kyle


	7. Best Blight Ever

_Oh Celestia, please let me keep myself under control. If I come on too strong, he might find it too awkward to work with me, and then he might try and get the contract canceled and then I won't afford... No. That kind of thinking is only going to make this a self-fulfilling prophecy. Stay calm, smile, and hold your tongue!_

"Ditzy, you alright? We've been trying to get an order out of you for the last five minutes. You seem a bit distracted."

"Erm, one monument."

The pegasus shook her head, wincing at the slip. _Order? Already? But we'd only just asked for... drinks._ She stared at the lemonade set in front of her, going back through her mind to see when it had been set before her. Everypony else had decided on some more liquor of one kind or another. Carrot Top sipped daintily at a Maregarita, while the stallions went with beer.

_And what about the... appetizers. Oh buck me. _A communal bowl of nachos had been placed in the center of the table. In the midst of conversation, the others had eaten the vast majority of it without thinking. Ditzy took one of the remaining chips and chewed as she gave another glance to the menu. Spurish food was something she had never bothered to eat herself, and she couldn't tell what was good to eat. _I just want a muffin..._

"If you're having trouble picking, I suggest you just get a _quesadilla_. It's cheese, a tortilla, and that's really all there is to it. I think... ah, this place had a black bean and corn one that'd probably fill you up."

Just-in smiled softly at the mare, who nodded without making eye contact. The orders finally set, conversation restarted while the food was prepared. Ditzy sat quietly for a moment, listening to the banter about the show, and what movements they were hoping to take it in. She'd nod politely, but otherwise contributed nothing to it. She was too busy talking to herself in her head.

_Speak up! Say something, anything! How long do you think they're just going to accept the fact you're just taking up space and food? The way you're acting, he probably thinks you're doing it just to be nice to Skyward, and didn't really want to be around him._

_ Say anything? That's the problem though. I just might say anything! What's the use in trying to take part in a topic if you just derail it all with another mixed up word?_

_ Well, you can't just say quiet any longer, he just asked you something._

_ WHAT!_

Ditzy blinked as Carrrot Top waved a hoof in front of her eyes. Her friends all had perplexed expressions, though at least Just-in was making an effort to hide it. Ditzy laughed nervously and took a sip of her lemonade, making a show of clearing her throat.

"Um, sorry, just... worrying about Dinky, you remember my hotter? She's with Miss Clarity tonight, but this is the first night in a wrong time I won't be home to tuck her in."

There were nods as they accepted this. _Well, technically, indirectly, I was worrying about her. __And now that I said it, it does bother me. The ritual is as much for me as it is for her. She needs a daddy but I need... oh maybe this is all foalhardy. Like when I said someday I'd marry a Prince when I was a filly. All fantasy. Besides-_

"Ditzy, if you want, you and me can leave the two lovebirds alone once dinner is over. I wouldn't mind, if you put your worries to rest. A stressed actress is a useless one. She worries about flubbing her lines so much, she can't help but mess up."

Ditzy's shoulders sagged with relief, smiling at Just-in gratefully.

"Yes, thank you so mulch for understanding."

"Quite alright, now, the food is being brought over. Let's enjoy the real, no rush, and then we'll go. We won't bother with dessert, if you'd like to save some time."

Carrot Top and Skyward shared a glance as the food was placed down for them. The meal went quickly, despite the promise of a slow meal. Conversation was slowed, but now it was headed by Ditzy, answering Just-in's questions about her daughter. While Skyward and him argued over the fair splitting of the bill, Carrot nudged Ditzy, then subtly nodded her head towards the restroom.

"Sorry boys, we'll be right back."

The two mares entered and Carrot immediately squealed in delight.

"Ditzy! I think you got him!"

"What? How do you think I bought him?"

Carrot gave a devilish little snigger, pulling a makeup kit from her bag.

"Come on, he's offering to walk you home, help pick up your daughter, leave early just for your sake? That stallion wants to keep you happy, and him in your good graces. Ditzy, if you let him leave your side tonight, he'd be heart broken! Make sure he at least gets a kiss!"

"A.. a kiss? Aren't we bleeding a little too much? He's just... really really rice. He's boast likely do it for anypony."

Carrot Top pat her friend's face trying to calm her.

"Slow down, bubble butt. You know your condition gets worse when you stress, and you stress because it gets worse."

"It IS getting worse."

"Because you're stressing!"

"NO. It's..."

Ditzy took a few deep breathes as Carrot Top stood there patiently. Thinking herself calm enough, the pegasus began once more.

"I've been... seeing Nurse Redheart. It's... proces...progressing. See? Even now it'll... flub. I'm not... acting for a husband. I'm getting... funds for surgery. Dinky... could use a father. But more... importantly, she needs a mother who can talk. Who doesn't... doesn't say "I glove you" when tucking her in."

Ditzy shook as her eyes welled. Carrot grabbed a paper towel and moistened it, wiping her face.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were just strained lately, because of everything. It never even occurred to me you might be getting um... sicker."

Ditzy sniffed and hugged her friend.

"It's alright. I... hid it from... everypony. I... didn't want to worry... you."

"Ditzy, worrying is what friends do. Come on, let's see if we can fix your make up before the boys decide we fell in and call a rescue team."

Carrot applied the new eyeshadow and a little extra blush. Ditzy looked at herself in the mirror, as her friend went ahead. _There she is. Ditzy Doo all dressed up. When she smiles a thousand suns could hardly match the brilliance. Her hair like threads of gold, and her eyes soul capturing amber. But... I'm not this pony. This is the pony Miss Rarity and Carrot tried to shape. Tried to change, so she'd be pretty._

Ditzy turned the sink on and washed the hair spray from her mane. Still dripping, she held her head under a hoof dryer until it feel into it's usual unkempt look. The make up Carrot had so painstakingly applied was washed away as well. The only factor remaining was the beautiful dress she was borrowing, which was carefully stripped off and tucked into the saddlebag.

Ditzy sighed, looking at herself once more. _There I am. There is Dinky's mother._

Stepping back out, Ditzy walked calmly up to he companions. Carrot's eyes were wide in shock, and Skyward was visibly confused, but Just-in... just smiled.

"As pretty as you were, I think this is best. It didn't feel like I was talking to Ditzy. Now, let's go get your.. little muffin, you called her?"

The two left, walking side by side. Ditzy felt like she was walking on air the whole time. Which, she was, flying just above the ground in her emotional state, but the stallion was too polite to comment. When they reached her house, Rarity was just walking up with the childre,

"Ditzy! Darling, I didn't expect to see you home. Well, have a nice evening, Dinky was just a little angel... unlike someponies I could mention..."

"Hey! I didn't mean to flip over the dessert cart!"

"Why did you bring your loop-de-hoop anyway?"

"She wanted to double check if she really could get her cutie mark with it..."

"GIRLS!"

The squabbling faded into the distance and the trio went up the stairs to the apartment. Dinky and Ditzy stepped inside, but Just-in stood in the doorway.

"Well, I guess I'll be heading back now."

"No, um, would you like to come in for some teal and muffins?"

"Momma makes THE best muffins Mr. Time! And I promise I won't swing on your tail again..."

The stallion gave a theatrical look to the ceiling.

"Oh Celestia, I hope this isn't some kind of trap, because if it is I've fallen for it. Very well, a spot of tea and an after dinner sweet does sound lovely."

After he was dragged in by the filly and filly at heart, the tea was quickly boiled and the three sat in cozy comfort on the couch, Dinky and Just-in to either side of Ditzy. Dinky soon tired and leaned against her mother half asleep. Weary herself, Ditzy leaned against Just-in without thinking.

"Oh! I'm sorry Dust-in.. I-"

"No, it's quite alright. Let's not disturb her by shuffling around."

The two adults looked at the little filly, hugging her mother's side as she was held in sleep's sweet embrace. Neither had the heart to run the image, and so, when sleep came to claim them, they remained. Daughter leaning on mother, mare leaning on stallion, and as if in afterthought, his hoof around her shoulders.

…

I know what I've said in the past. Forget Trixie. DITZY is the hardest story for me to write. Don't ask why or how, it just is. But even if a bit short, I still think...

Worth it.

Kyle


	8. Distressing News

Ditzy waited patiently in the doctor's office. Nurse Redheart was with her, patting her hoof comfortingly. The gray mare gave a weak smile, too nervous to give a proper one; it was a grim grin at best. They had done some more scans, and though Ditzy was assured there was nothing life threatening about the condition, it was nerve racking to do nothing but wait.

They had come to begin consultation on the surgery. While in other cases where heavy medication would have worked, Ditzy had proved unique in her resistance to the doses. The entire point to this visit however, was to see if they had, perhaps, misdiagnosed. _What if it was a tumor? Or some missing part of my brain? OR ALIEN PROBE IN MY CORTEX! No... that's just silly. The show's been working into your head, you Derpy._

The doctor came in, and though he was quite nice, Ditzy would have rather have been seeing The Doctor. No, _her_ Doctor. Just-in had stayed the night that evening, providing comfort to mother and child. In the morning, he had even waited patiently for them to awaken, rather than disturb them by getting up himself. _I probably shouldn't have made him stay for breakfast, but it didn't feel right to kick him out as soon as we woke up. I hope he doesn't think I'm desperate... OK, maybe I am a little, but..._

Ditzy was shaken slightly by Redheart, bringing her back to reality. The two medical professions shared a glance as the pegasus blushed in embarrassment. She tried her best to pay attention as the doctor displayed various pieces of paper. It seemed that, yes, the condition was some similar enough to another for the two to have been confused until these later stages but unfortunately, her's was far less easily fixed. There was talk of "imbalances", "ocular displacement", and "advancing symptoms". Redheart did her best to translate the mumbo jumbo for Ditzy.

"Miss Doo, it's... well. You know as well as anypony here you're not getting better. The degeneration is getting bad in the speech portion and-"

Ditzy nodded her head solemnly, listening to the Nurse's carefully edited words. _Affecting__ the __speech__ blah blah. I... can't stand it __anymore__. They know I simply can't talk right, why are they starting to treat me as if I can't understand as well? Ok, yes, my eyes but... wait, what did she just say?_

"Sorry Hearse, could you retreat that last bit?"

"I said... it... it also seems to be hereditary."

Ditzy sat stunned, the words not quite making sense. Then, all at once, her eyes welled over with tears and she fell to sobbing. _HEREDITARY! Then, then Dinky. Oh Celestia DINKY. I'd heard it before, the slight messing up, but I'd __pegged it as youthful mispronunciation. What if it was just the early signs? But then, so did my mother with me._

The doctor's face crumbled in sadness, as Redheart bowed her head. Ditzy looked up, and hugged the crestfallen nurse. The visit ended shortly after, with an appointment set for the following week. _She looks like __she failed__. But... why would she? It's not as if she was the one who cursed a little filly to a life like... this. _They left, Redheart being kind enough to escort her out the hospital doors. The nurse stopped her from taking off.

"Listen, Ditzy. Don't let this hold you down. I know you're worrying about Dinky, any fit mother would be; condition aside, YOU are the kindest, sweetest mom a filly could ask for. There's only a very small chance Dinky is..."

Ditzy smiled weakly, the nurse's words dying in her throat. They hugged one more time, and Ditzy took to the sky. It was... liberating, to say the least. While she was happy on the ground, a contestant in the Best Young Flier's competition is always glad to fly. Rather than going to an empty home while Dinky was in school, the mare landed on a cloud to think.

The Cumulus was soft as... well, a cloud, and Ditzy let herself sink into the puff. From her little hide away, she floated above Ponyville, watching all the normal citizens living their lives peacefully. Miss Rarity, the generous soul, was walking along with the young dragon who had taken residence in the library. Ditzy could not recall the name, but he was a nice little guy from what she had heard. That is, when he wasn't several stories tall and wrecking the town.

Ditzy found herself trailing behind random ponies, just watching them live a life with no worries, no problems. Sweet Apple Acres was in full spring, with the Apples tending to the blooming trees with care. Ditzy's eyes widened in shock as Boxy Brown, her former boss, flew down to deliver a package to them. _I thought he had someone out to replace me! Did...did he take it up instead? I can't even remember. I've been so busy with Just-in and such, I can't recall if he had been doing this __for a while, or if__ this is the first day._

_ I miss the route. It was so much fun, flying around, delivering to everypony. I was... a part of something greater then. I got to see Lyra, and Bon Bon when they went to the Corner for breakfast. Carrot Top working her fields and a __midmorning__ snack. Letters to everypony, of all kinds. Love letters on Hearts and Hooves Day. Invitations to parties year round. Birthday cards, anniversaries. It was wonderful to see them smile._

Ditzy drifted on the wind, back over to town to watch a griffon chat to some green maned stallion. She was too high to hear anything, but they looked like they were talking about something sad. Their heads were hung low, and their bodies shook in what looked like racking sobs much like the same she had cried.

_I remember the sadness too. I've carried letters for dead soldiers, grandparents who passed on, lovers who no longer felt the spark that once lit their worlds. Too often, I gave the black lined letter telling some poor son his mother had gone to Greener Pastures. And all I could do was stand there, while they wept, or take off, trying to tell myself the sting in my eyes was the wind and not shame for running from their sorrow._

The pair stood up under Ditzy's gaze, and to her surprise, they took off running. _Oh, I guess they were just resting from exercise... look at me. Expecting the worst of things. Pathetic. Hiding in a cloud! This isn't me any more than the dressed up beauty was! I am Ditzella __Derring Doo__! I've been to the Grand Galloping Gala. I've seen chaos and Discord reign, __and survived against all odds__. I am a mother of the most beautiful little filly in Equestria and I will not have this sob story any longer!_

Ditzy popped out from the cloud, knocking off Rainbow Dash who had decided to use the same one as a bed while she was thinking. As the grey pegasus shot off, there was a fading cry of "Derpyyyyy" behind her. But she would not let that hold her any more. She had a plan to show herself, neigh, the entirety of Equestria she'd still be a great mother!

She went straight to Ponyville's premiere party pony Pinkie Pie for supplies. She was quite glad to help, but Ditzy refused. _I have to do this myself. I've had help for so long__;__ I need to prove it to myself I don't need any._

She flew home, a fire burning in her eyes. The Post Office was almost empty, a bored clerk nodding to her as she marched up the stairs. Ditzy fumbled at the door, and almost dropped the load as she stumbled inside. But now was no time to waste precious seconds. Ditzy looked at the clock. _Two hours until Dinky gets out of class. Alright. Time to do something nice for my little muffin!_

With that, Ditzy began preparing the humble little apartment. Streamers were put up with care, as balloons were inflated and tossed into piles. The table was set for two, mother and child. In the kitchen, Ditzy stood over a large mixing bowl, trying to make blueberry walnut banana pistachio chocolate chip muffins. It was Dinky's favorite, which meant it was Ditzy's as well. She smiled softly at the misc-mash batter in front of her.

_Dinky made this for me during Family Appreciation. She didn't know what kind I liked most, so she just made them all together. Oh the mess, but I was so proud of her. She used her magic to mix it, after she'd been having so much trouble even writing with it. She's such a darling. She doesn't deserve a Derpy for a mommy._

There was a knock at the door that took her from her thoughts. Popping the muffins in the oven, she rushed to the door. The trouble with rushing is you often don't notice details until it's too late. As it was, she opened the door to find Just-in standing there. He nodded at her, smiling sheepishly. Ditzy felt a blush working despite her surprise.

"Just-in, what kings you here? I thought today we weren't kilning. Do you need me on the bet?"

The stallion shook his head, laughing lightly at the needless worry.

"I just wanted to pop by, chat a bit. But judging from the décor, you seem to be planning a party."

"No, no it's dine. It was just about lime to go get Dinky. Would you like to balk with me? We'll rat as we go."

Ditzy stepped out and closed the door behind her. By the time they had left the Post Office doors, a flame was already forming. Unaware, they talked.

"So, Ditzy. I know you didn't want to talk about it, but where is Dinky's father?"

The mare knew the question would come again, but she hadn't been expecting it now. Her face fell for a moment, but then she sighed and brightened.

"He's... no stronger with us. I made my lease with that, and Dinky was too hung to remember him."

Just-in walked along in silence, and despite the fuddled words, he still couldn't help but notice how vague it still was. _No longer with them? Is that dead__,__ or left her? Either way, you can't help but feel for her, raising a foal by herself..._

Ditzy stared at the ground as they walked after that. Just-in felt like an ass, apologies any donkeys or mules but you understand it's only a phrase, letting curiosity override courtesy. He even muttered under his breath.

"Hee...haw..."

The pair soon arrived at the school, Cheerilee guiding out the youths to their parents and siblings. Dinky ran right up to her mother and hugged her leg. The pegasus nuzzled her daughter lovingly. The filly looked over to the stallion, face skewing in confusion. Ditzy giggled.

"Come now, you snow Mister Time. He-"

"Are you Mommy's very special somepony?"

Both adults froze at the phrase.

...

The holiday for "special someponies" had come and gone, and they had gone out again with Carrot Top and Skyward. It had been pleasant, Ditzy not having to worry about dressing up again, and surprisingly they had been interrupted. Fans had seen them enter the restaurant and soon a number of ponies had swarmed them for autographs. Ditzy remained silent, not wanting to reveal anything to the youngest fans. The older ones just thought she was trying to be in character.

Just-in, however, had remained calm and pleasant, despite wishing to have a quiet dinner with friends that night. They badgered him for information.

"How does the screwdriver work?"

"I'd tell you, but Equestria is only a Type 1 civilization and not ready for Type 4 technology yet."

"Are you planning on fighting The Master again?"

"I've never really planned on it, it just sort of happened. The problem with the wibbly wobbly nature of things may make it happen I suppose."

"Is another Element of Harmony going to appear on the show? Rarity Unicorn had made a cameo, but so far she's the only one."

"It all depends on them; they're all welcome to come to the set. Miss Rarity was a pleasure to work with, and I hope she likes her performance."

"Miss Doo seems to be missing her iconic voice box, and has remained silent this whole time. Is there any reason for this?"

"Ditzy has proven herself to be the wiser of the two of us. If she had brought her box, she'd have to answer your questions and delay eating dinner as well. Not that I mind the attention."

"Are you and Ditzy going out in real life, or just in the show? This is Hearts and Hooves Day; normally you wouldn't go out with "just a friend" on a night like this."

"Well, erm, has it ever been said we were even in the show?"

Ditzy had gone home alone that night. At least, she arrived home alone. Just-in ran up, huffing from the sprint.

"Ditzy, I... you didn't need to walk out. I'm sorry that answer seemed bad but... I don't want rumors about you going around. Had I answered seriously, it'd wind up in some tabloid with an awkward picture of us. And if we were together, I think that's our bus-"

"No more expulsions, from either of bus. Fish me."

The stallion blinked, but the way Ditzy had moved up took away the chance to translate. He saw tears in her eyes just before their lips met. It wasn't a very good kiss, sudden and full of anger from Ditzy. She pulled away huffing indignantly, then her look changed to horror. _What did I just do! Oh Celestia, if he didn't like me before, now he must hate me. Just-in I didn't- _ Dinky opened the door, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"Mommy?"

Ditzy broke away, face red. _I shouldn't have left her alone. But she's getting older__;__ she should have been fine home alone for the evening._

"Muffin, you should have been in red by now."

"I couldn't sleep without our song."

Ditzy smiled tenderly down at the unicorn filly. She kissed the top of Dinky's head far more gently than she had Mister Time's lips. _Now that I think of it, I'm not sure if I'd have felt right without singing it myself..._

"Ok, come on lack inside. Let's get you to sleepy band."

Ditzy guided the filly back to bed, Just-in following as he was swept up in the ritual. Despite not wanting to draw attention, he sang with them, which brought a smile to Dinky's face.

"Good night Mommy. Good night Mister Time..."

Shutting the door to her room, the pair returned to the living room. They sat awkwardly, neither wanting to be the first to address the kiss. But the seconds ticked by, and soon:

"I'm sorry!"

"No, I am. If I'd been less focused on the show..."

"I shouldn't have blissed you like that. But I was... pad that you wouldn't say anything. I could take ejection, but just leaving it a rank?"

"Ditzy..."

Just-in nudged his nose against hers, smiling softly. The two stared into each other's eyes for a moment, and Ditzy felt as if you could boil a pot of water on her face. The stallion spoke, and as he did Ditzy could just barely feel his lips brush against hers.

"You're... rather right. Like that wasn't a good thing. But... you could try it like this."

Just-in stayed the night once more, but he did not sleep on the couch.

…

The pegasus looked at him, then back to her daughter.

"Dinky, my muffin, Just-in-"

"IS her special somepony."

Both Doos looked at him in surprise. He coughed, smiling at the mare.

"If she doesn't mind that, of course."

Just-in was able to remain standing for another second before being tackled to the ground by the mother-daughter pair. When he was finally allowed up, Ditzy gave him a soft peck on the cheek. They began the walk back to the Post Office, when they noticed something... odd about it.

"Why is the fire brigade here?"

"THE MUFFINS!"

Ditzy ran up to the apartment, the door bucked down. Several ponies in fire gear poked around the smoke stained and water soaked walls. A large charcoal grey stallion walked up.

"I take it you're the owner. Ma'am, it looks like when you put... whatever it was you were cooking,"

To the side, a mare set down the pan of coals that was to be Dinky's treat on the counter top.

"When you put it in the oven, a pot holder fell in and landed on the heating coils. That started the blaze. The clerk downstairs smelled the smoke, but by the time we got here the damage was done. The oven is ruined and most of the counters around them are little more than charcoal. But outside of that, it's smoke damage and a few other things. All things considered, you're lucky you live here and not in a normal house. Who knows how much would have been destroyed before someone noticed otherwise."

Another stallion called out.

"All clear. There shouldn't be anything left but repairs at this point. Ash, we're heading back."

The grey stallion nodded, and then turned to Ditzy again.

"I'm sorry, but now we've done all we can. I'd get with your insurance to see about the damages. Just be glad nopony was hurt."

The firefighters began walking out, leaving Ditzy standing near the ashes of the streamers. Dinky and Just-in stood at her side, saying nothing. The mare felt a tear roll down her cheek, and she bowed her head in shame. Then, she spoke under her breath.

"Good job, Derpy."

…

WHAT? I updated? No, you're just dreaming. Ok, some news.

Those of you who somewhat recognize this plot, yes, this is Dinky's Party altered for TD&TD. Some of you are going "Wait, I checked your profile, you don't HAVE a story called Dinky's Party!" well, about that...

I recently have made it onto Equestria Daily with another older updated/edited story, The Dragon's Nest. This showed me two things: 1. Getting to EQD length is a bitch. This charter is 3k, the minimum length for multi-chapter stories to be EQD legal. 2. Knowing that, yes, with some effort and editing I can make EQD level stories, I am going to do just that.

How? Revision, Deletion, and Re-imagining. Revise those that are close to the goal. Delete the too short, the stories going "Nowhere", and Re-imagine my best. Trixie and Big Mac... I'm sorry, but the shipping was forced on my part. I like how I've recrafted their characters, with Neigh Orleans and Brown snout and Granny's death. The shipping? I never felt like I majorly impacted either of them as a direct effect of pairing them with their current partners. I'll be either putting them on permanent hiatus or outright removing them. Twilight and Fluttershy will be single once more. If I get around to writing them again, as I have a much bigger personal interest in three other projects..

Gilda and Lies will be renamed, and the story altered. I feel I made the makeup happen much too fast, then shifted the story over to Gilda and Words slice of life. The new Gilda story will focus more on what the original promised: her trying to fit in in Ponyville, and regaining Dash's favor. Words lovers will find him in his own story, which is where I'll have the slice of life feel instead. It'll start with what was GaL chapter 4, then move from there. The Doctor and the Doo will be pretty much the same, with chapters combined or edited to met standard.

Everything else that remains now, like most of my little one shots? Will likely be getting heavy edits themselves. Silver Star will see the chapters combined into a sort of campfire legend/folk tale telling. Dracolord and the Lulu and Tia story I have no clue of what I plan to do for them. As it is? Hiatus or deletion. Consider this my great purge in the pursuit of pony print perfection.

In other news, I turned 21 Feb 7. First alcoholic drink: White Russian. The Dude abides.

Kyle


End file.
